growing up

ive just recently been back from leave..to be specific, i was in fiji! spending the time lying in the sand, snoozing away while getting a tan. being absolutely lazy. loved it! the being lazy part anyways.

got back to reality last sat. was back to work on tues. and gonna be working this weekend. while i was in chch before i drove to timaru, i was reminded of high school cos i was driving past burnside when it was going home time. gosh, how i miss those days.

the worries i had in high school seem so pointless rite now. i worried abt my grades mostly. i was quite a nerd in school. still am come to think of it. and actually my worries then are fairly similar to the present. worried abt the way i looked, abt whether boys would like me. worried abt my future and where i would be when im all grown up. geez..now i still worry abt the way i look. altho less as much nowadays. now i cant be stuffed if i look like crap cos ive realised nobody can be beautiful 100% of the time. and also, ive slowly accepted my flaws. i still worry abt the future even now, when im considered to be "grown up".

im in my mid twenties already. and now even considered an adult since im working. it comes with more responsibilities and more things to worry abt. like tax returns and insurance and car registrations & wofs. credit card bills, rental fees..etc..etc..and then even tho im now working, i still have to think abt my future, wat to specialise in, where to work, job applications..

my mind goes crazy..i dunno how ppl survive being an adult. things are more expensive, more things to pay for, gotta worry abt where ur career is going..gotta start thinking abt settling down in a single place..think abt buying a house..need to start thinking abt investments, etc etc..the list goes on..

i really miss being a student. more specifically, being in high school. things seemed so simple then altho it probably didnt feel like it at the time. living at home where everything is done for u. no bills to pay. allowance from ur parents. just had to do ur homework and get good grades. spare time was spent watching tv or going on the internet. now i hardly have time to do just dat.

growing up kinda sucks. does it get better with time? hmm..i spose i can only look forward to retirement when i will actually haf time to do the things i enjoy. just like my mum. who can spend her afternoons watching drama or doing the crossword. so envious. she retired at 42. i still have abt 20 yrs to go. sigh.